Love in the time of Covid: How the pandemic altered the dating scene

Hamizah Ariff swiping through matches on Tinder

Once upon a time, dating often only involved dinner and a movie, followed by a goodnight kiss on the doorstep — intimate encounters that the pandemic unexpectedly replaced with social distancing, self-isolation, mask-wearing, and the threat of contracting a fatal illness.

Although dating applications were a large part of contemporary romance, people were still able to meet their matches in person for traditional dates. However, as the pandemic took over, singles were devastated to learn that they can no longer meet people with whom they have made a connection through these applications.

"I prefer online dating for three reasons; firstly, I find it more convenient because it's easier to find people who are interested in the same topic and have similar stances on issues as you, and secondly, it's ideal for me because I get nervous at the thought of meeting someone for the first time in person,” said Jonathan, an engineering student.

"Finally, I prefer online dating because it is quite challenging to meet members of the LGBTQ community in the traditional dating environment,” he added.

Merely chatting with someone on dating applications without really meeting them also comes with its own set of complications.

“Just chatting will only allow you to know a very small part of the person that they are willing to show and that is not enough for me to take the next step,” said Muaadh Mujeeb Ur Rahman, another engineering student.

“I could be chatting with an entirely different person; it could even be a catfish,” added Muaadh.

Just as things seemed to be going nowhere, 22-year-old business student Hamizah Ariff was ramping up her dating life after healing from a long-term relationship that had ended.

“I was aware that the pandemic had reduced my dating prospects and made it quite difficult to meet new people,” she said.

In April, she traded the quaint terraces of Semenyih for the skyscrapers of Kuala Lumpur and moved out of her parents' home.

"This is when I truly began looking for someone to spend time with, since I am far from home and in a new place,” said Hamizah.

So, from her urban flat, Hamizah attempted something new.

She registered for multiple virtual speed dating events sponsored by Filter Off, a speed dating application, and various organisers on Eventbrite.

Online speed dating events on Eventbrite

“It seemed really interesting to me because I am actually going to meet that person but just not in real life,” she said.

“However, I still have the opportunity to get to know them as if the date were taking place in real life.”

Traditionally, speed dating is a matchmaking process in which singles would gather in an empty restaurant or a community hall for brief face-to-face encounters with one another in a round-robin format.

Now the similar structure has been adapted for virtual speed dating events, in which individuals will spend three to five minutes getting to know one another through video dates before moving on to their next prospective match.

A list of potential dates for Hamizah Ariff, provided by Filter Off for the Global Speed Dating event

“I think actually talking to someone for even three minutes will allow you to get to know them better than merely forming an opinion of them based on their pictures,” said Hamizah.

After each speed dating event, Filter Off connects users who have mutually shown interest in one another, allowing them to continue conversing on the application itself.

Muaadh, who began virtual speed dating last year, said, "I find it to be both safe and effective since I only get to pursue further communication with those who I find interesting and those who find me interesting."

"The mutual attraction is already established there, so there is no need to worry over whether the person who swiped right on you did it on purpose or by mistake since Filter Off's approach is much more straightforward," he added.

Not only did Jonathan find an effective dating method, but he also found himself a community through Eventbrite.

“Apart from speed dating events, I also stumbled across multiple virtual support groups and gatherings events for the LGBTQ community across the world and it has been really empowering to attend such events and hear what the members of my community have to say,” said Jonathan.

As for Hamizah, these virtual speed dating events have been a tremendous help in the transition to the next phase of her life.

"Dating has been pretty challenging due to the pandemic, but innovative dating methods such as this make it easier for me to meet people with similar interests," she said.

“It also makes me feel a little less lonely in a big city like Kuala Lumpur.”

Hamizah Ariff in a virtual video date

Although in-person interactions are becoming more ubiquitous and safer, virtual dating may be here to stay.

According to a Tinder study, approximately forty per cent of Generation Z users would continue to utilise video chats even when Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) guidelines are relaxed, and businesses reopen.

There is no denying that the pandemic altered the traditional dating scene, leading to a rising interest in online dating.

Times have definitely changed.

Instead of going out for dinner and a movie, singles are now opting to stay in and watch Netflix with their virtual date.