Virtual Romance and Real Feelings: Why Otome Games Are Gaining Popularity

Are you willing to invest time, energy and emotions in a virtual relationship? For tens of millions of otome gamers around the world, the answer is yes. Otome games are rapidly moving from the subcultural circle to the mainstream, particularly among young people in Malaysia and elsewhere– , a trend that is increasingly difficult to  ignore

Virtual characters from various Otome games. (Source: Game Rant）

Why are thousands of players addicted to love stories with virtual characters? What kind of realistic emotional gap does a virtual perfect lover satisfy? And what impact does it have on the real love relationship of players?

Inside the World of Otome Games

Otome games come from the Japanese word “おとめ (Otome),” which means “young woman.” They are a type of romance simulation game made especially for female players. Players usually take the role of the female lead from a first-person view，moving the story forward by choosing dialogue options and making decisions，develop romantic relationships with many carefully designed male virtual characters, and experience an emotional journey that is fully paid attention to and responded to.

This kind of game has developed from the early Japanese niche market to a mature genre with international influence. From the “Diabolik Lovers”, known for its dark romance, to the hit urban love game “Mr. Love: Queen's Choice”, and more recently “Love and Deepspace”, which has gone viral for its highly immersive 3D interaction, Otome games have continued to evolve. But their core has always focused on emotional experience and the female gaze.

Posters of  “Diabolik Lovers”, “Mr. Love: Queen's Choice” and “Love and Deepspace”. (Source: Xiaohongshu)

Otome games have quickly become popular among young people in Malaysia and around the world. This is mainly because it fits well with mobile gaming. Simple touch controls, story progress made for short breaks, and a highly personalized immersive experience allow a “heart-racing encounter” to happen anytime and anywhere, right in the palm of the player’s hand. Behind this growing trend, it also reflects the rising need for online emotional connection among young people today. In a real world full of uncertainty, otome games offer a stable and controllable “digital safe space,” where players can receive emotional feedback instantly.

Looking for Care, Comfort and Control

Enyi is a female university student at this institution. She has been playing otome games for the past two years. She said that she first tried this type of game out of curiosity, but was soon drawn in by its strong focus on emotional interaction.

Luke, Enyi’s favorite character, from the game “Tears of Themis”. (Source: Tears of Themis)

“Daily study pressure is actually very heavy. Sometimes you spend the whole day rushing assignments and preparing for exams. Few people really ask if you are tired,” Enyi said.

“When I play otome games, at least I feel that there is a character who truly cares about me.”

In her view, the biggest appeal of otome games is not just the romance setting, but the feeling that emotions are constantly responded to. She pointed out that emotional communication in real life is often unequal, especially in close relationships. “Many times, expressing your feelings is seen as troublesome or simply ignored,” she said. “But in the game, your emotions are always valued.”

Enyi also mentioned that as a young woman, she does not always feel enough respect in some real-life interactions. “Sometimes you realize that your thoughts and boundaries are not taken seriously,” she said. “In otome games, the characters clearly respect your choices and do not easily dismiss you.” This sense of being respected and understood makes her feel emotionally safer.

She admitted that the emotional relationships in games are highly idealized, but it is exactly this idealisation that helps players relax. “Real-life romantic relationships come with many uncertainties. You do not know if the other person will respond to your feelings, or if you will be misunderstood,” Enyi said. “But in games, these worries almost do not exist. You can express yourself in a relatively safe environment.”

She further explained that otome games are not a replacement for real-life romance, but rather an emotional supplement. “I clearly know that these characters are fictional. I do not treat them as real people,” she said. “But the emotions I feel in the game are real, such as feeling cared for and valued. Those feelings do not disappear just because the characters are virtual.”

Enyi also believes that these games reflect, to some extent, the emotional needs of young women that are not fully met in real-life relationships. “Many times, what we need is not dramatic romance, but stable responses and a sense of security,” she said. “What otome games offer is actually a very idealised, but also very direct, emotional model.”

Screenshot of “Amnesia: Memories”. (Source: Idea Factory)

Although the main audience of otome games is women, their emotional attraction is not limited to gender. Some male players, especially sexual minorities, also find resonance in such games.

Some gay and bisexual male players said that intimacy in real life often comes with uncertainty or even pressure. Otome games, however, offer a relatively safe emotional space where they can experience closeness without being judged.

The views of these male players, to some extent, echo the experiences of female players. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, otome games offer more than romantic fantasy. They present a relationship model built around emotional response, a sense of safety, and respect.

Comfort, Connection, and the Question of Balance

The popularity of otome games cannot be separated from the emotional pressure many young people face today. Academic stress, uncertainty in relationships, and limited emotional support in daily life all shape how young women engage with digital romance. From a counselling perspective, 0tome games reflect broader social and psychological changes, rather than a simple interest in gaming.

Luca, a counsellor at Taylor’s university, noted that otome games have become more socially accepted because they center women’s emotional experiences. In the past, romantic simulation games were often seen as something people kept to themselves. Today, they are openly discussed on social media and shared within online communities. As Luca put it, “these games are no longer niche or hidden, they’ve become shared experiences rather than something to be embarrassed about.”

One reason otome games feel emotionally satisfying is the sense of being heard and understood. Psychologically, this can be explained through parasocial relationships, or one-sided emotional bonds formed with fictional characters. These bonds can feel meaningful because the games are designed around emotional closeness and personal choice. “Characters often respond in ways that feel emotionally attuned to the player,” Luca explained, creating a sense of being seen and valued that is not always available in real life.

Safety also plays an important role in their appeal. Unlike real relationships, otome games remove the fear of rejection or judgment. According to Luca, “knowing it’s not real actually makes the emotional experience feel safer.” This allows players to explore feelings and seek comfort without the risks that often come with real-world intimacy.

Under academic and social pressure, otome games can function as a coping mechanism.. Luca described them as a way for students to “calm down, regulate emotions, and repair their mood after a bad day.” For many players, the games offer reassurance and emotional relief when real life feels overwhelming. They may also provide space to reflect on how players think about relationships and emotional boundaries.

Otome Game “Yunohana Spring ~Cherishing Time~” (Soource:Breadmasterlee)

However, Luca emphasised that the effects depend on how the games are used. Emotional engagement becomes concerning when it begins to affect daily functioning. “If gaming starts to interfere with school, relationships, or emotional stability, that’s a sign to pause and reflect,” Luca said. Relying on virtual relationships as the main source of emotional support may signal unmet needs that require attention beyond the screen.

There are also concerns about how idealised virtual relationships shape expectations of real-life romance. Otome games often present partners who are consistently patient, emotionally responsive, and conflict-free. Luca pointed out that “constant exposure to emotionally perfect interactions can subtly influence what people expect from real relationships,” especially for younger players. While this does not mean otome games are harmful, it may make real relationships feel more complex by comparison.

Screenshot of “Catboys Paradise”. (Source:FamiSafe)

Ultimately, Luca stressed that balance is key. “Otome games aren’t the problem,” She said. “What matters is whether they support a healthy emotional life, or replace real connection altogether.”

Where Emotional Needs Find Space

For many young women, otome games are less about fantasy and more about emotional experience. While players understand that these relationships are virtual, the feelings of being heard, respected, and emotionally supported still matter. In a time when real relationships often feel uncertain or demanding, digital romance offers a different kind of emotional space.

As otome games continue to grow in popularity, they raise broader questions about how young people seek connection today. Whether these needs are met through screens or real-life relationships, the desire for emotional safety and understanding remains the same.